Net Worth Zero

I have recently returned to Melbourne after a one year mis-adventure in Brisbane. Gosh is it good to be back. I feel more relieved than anything else. Happy days.

Through a complicated series of events I am presently performing a quasi house-sitting role for my friends and one set of their parents. I am thus "in charge" of a $2 million house in Brighton, a $700,000 apartment, also in Brighton, and three automobiles. My first task, of course, was learning to say the word "Brighton" just so - getting the correct intonation on the second syllable is a devil of a job thank you very much....

What to do, what to do. With 6 bedrooms, 5 toilets, 4 bathrooms, 4 fridges, 3 washing machines and a cubby house. And more passwords, keys, codes and responsibilities than any man should have to bear.

None of it is mine of course. Other than one modest vehicle. So an all-care but no responsibility rule applies. Which doesn't mean that I'm a recalcitrant friend without any sense of accountability, far from it. I'm just saying that when I leave the gas/iron/sandwich maker on and the house/apartment/cubby house burns to the ground they shouldn't really blame me. There, it's always best to get those things off your chest.